Forewarning: This post has diet talk, if you are triggered or uncomfortable with this topic, please keep that into consideration. Thank you.
Perhaps I may just be ranting here, but this issue has been eating me up for a long time. If you look at my twitter you will see that I am ranting about how certain individuals (in general, no one specific) are hypocritical when it comes to the fat acceptance movement. I want to open up about this on my blog because it is my blog, and there will be political/rant pieces like this from time to time.
I am in the body acceptance movement. In the fat acceptance movement, whatever that may be. Some of you may not be active in it, some of you may, but I identify myself as a fat activist. I love my fat body and I am happy with who I am (though who am I to kid, sometimes you have those moments of nervous breakdowns) and I do not judge anyone elses body and health because who am I to judge? Why would I want to do to someone what I wouldn't want someone else to do to me?
Anyways, the reason for this is because I'm so sick of seeing fat individuals who happen to lose weight or happen to "diet" get attacked because of their lifestyle choices. Of course I understand triggers, of course diet talk will trigger some people - especially those on their self-acceptance journey. Why is it that when people make lifestyle choices or they are visibly smaller (in photographs) it is okay to criticize them - why is it that people can just accuse others of "betraying the fat acceptance community"?
See, this is where my frustration comes in.
The moment someone loses weight, or decides to take a lifestyle change for themselves - they are attacked. Of course people have the right to feel betrayed - sure, but to attack and flame someone for their own life choices? Isn't that a bit hypocritical? Actually, a lot hypocritical?
As fat people, we are oppressed in society. I'm sure we have had those times where we have been judged, made fun of, gotten rude comments about our bodies or our lifestyles (fat = lazy and eats McDonalds all day, amirite?) or we have even gotten the whole 'concerned-for-your-health' spiel.
So why, why does someone who experience this kind of oppression think it is okay to rag on someone about what they do with their bodies? With their lives? I personally feel that it is not in ANYONES position to make criticisms or comments about what they do in life. I get comments on how I should live my life. I hate it. So why would I do this same kind of thing to someone who decided to do something with their lifestyle? I live my lifestyle and yeah, it's unhealthy I'm gonna admit it - and I hate it when people think that it's just a free pass to go give me their opinion... especially about my body, especially about how I live my life.
Besides, the reasons for this lifestyle change may be different. Situations are different. Some people might go on a diet because of their health. Some might suffer from depression or something that ruined their appetite - but that's their own business, right? It's none of our business. Just like the reasons why we are fat is none of anyone elses business, or anything to do with our bodies and our health. Some people are fat because of health problems, or lack of fitness, or lack of exercise, genetics - whatever - the point is, why does it matter why we come to make the choices we do - it's who we are, what we decide and it's no one has the right to pry into your personal life like that.
My point is it's not okay to go and rag on about someones lifestyle choices if YOU don't like being ragged on yourself! It's body policing. I don't like being body policed, so why should I go and body police someone elses body?
Another thing that frustrates me to no end is the whole, "Curvy is sexy! Fuck those skinny bitches!" (You've seen those ads). I get that the intention may be to empower curvy women, but why is it necessary to bring down people with different bodies? It's not okay. It's still body shaming and body policing.
I thought the body acceptance movement was supposed to accept all bodies of different sizes. Don't get me wrong, I love what the FA community has done to empower me... but to bring down others because it does not fit your "ideal" of "fat" or any other body (acting as if it were some club) is not right to me.
In short - why do things to others that you wouldn't want done to yourself?
Oh, and I do understand the whole issue of talking about diets and such on fatshion blogs and how we want to avoid this issue. I'm on the fence about this... it's the persons blog but at the same time, fatshion blogs are supposed to be a safe space for body acceptance.
Thoughts? Do you have any other frustrations towards the blogging community? Pet peeves? Any input would be great and I encourage discussion here.
Also, I am sorry about typos and such. I'm tired and I realise my English isn't the best.
Very well written. I believe that all women of all shapes and sizes should see the beauty in each other and empower each other to love who they are, no matter size, race, age, or anything else.
ReplyDeleteWe can empower ourselves without bringing anyone else down.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad, really. Don't do things to others that you don't want to be done to you.
(Feel free to delete my comment if it's too triggering/off topic/too hateful bb. This topic is close to my heart due to my eating disordered thoughts & depression, so I'm unable to look at it without being subjective.)
ReplyDeleteWell, bb, you know that I've always treaded lightly around these discussions but I think I ought to put in my side from the ~skinny side~ especially in Asia since it's like a must to be skinny here.
You know that I've always been fighting depression & eating disordered thoughts on and off since what feels like forever ago, and it's always difficult for my to weigh in heavily on this issue as my thoughts are always telling me "Stupid girl, you must NEVER be fat. Otherwise no one will love you." and things like that. Yet at the same time, I love all my friends and family members equally in spite of their size, so there's this conflict between my rational mind and my irrational mind.
It makes me so sick that people are saying "Real women are curvy", because there's a fine line between empowering women singularly and there's empowering them by mocking other women. And then again, there's a difference between curvy and flabby, and all the different types of segregation we have, and it's just tiring to see how we all hate each other based on external appearances when we should all be looking beyond that.
Yet, people are unable to do that. Looks will always be more important than character and no matter what people say or do, it's impossible to fight that fact.
As a "skinny chick", I'm more privileged than fat people, but there's a pressure on me to stay skinny as well? It's easier to see when I've gained/lost weight and it's a huge form of pressure for me to just stay skinny and not gain weight. My grandmother loves to grab my arm and tell me that I've put on weight, even when I've lost weight.
I don't know where I'm going with this comment, but I just need an outlet? I'm sorry bb!! D:
It feels to me that body acceptance is all good in theory, but when push comes to shove, everyone just ends up wanting to compartmentalizing others and fitting them into their assigned groups, and should they start blurring the boundaries, the rest of the group/external groups have something to say about it even though the fact is that it's that individual's own body/health/future. Attacking another based on circumstances that we cannot understand is wrong and just ends up backfiring, but people always want to add in their thoughts on a subject even when they know shit about it (hey, look at me here right now!).
I think I should stop blabbering already, this comment is going no where. Sorry again, Gazzybb. :(
I agree with you totally on this.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel guilty that I'm not a good FA activist because I have a lot of issues still with my self image and finding a balance between having healthy eating habits and still loving myself as my body is without wanting to change it. But the thing is that I love seeing other people so happy with themselves, wearing whatever, eating whatever and not giving a rat's a** about anything anyone says, I'd love to get there some day, but for me, I don't think I could do it with just reading FA tumblrs and working on my confidence, for me I'll need to make some external changes in diet and physical activity as well to get there to be happy with my body and that's just what I need....since it's not by ~the rules~ of the movement, that makes me a bad activist or not an ally of the movement? I don't have a set # of pounds I need to lose or a certain size I want to get into, I just know there's a certain way I want to FEEL about myself and certain things I want to be able to do without getting winded. I know I will never be thin, and I don't want to be (and it took me a long time to be able to say that and mean it). To me, FA means taking the steps (whatever they may be for you) in learning how to love yourself; it's not right to judge anyone based on what they need to help love themselves and improve their lives. I could be wrong, but that's just how I feel.
I think you are entitle to choose your actions about your body and not being judge by anybody.
ReplyDeleteI back you 100%
Besosssssssssssss
Completely agree with you
ReplyDeleteBody acceptance = NO body policing
For every body
I think the idea of body size acceptance should be just that - accepting everyone for however they choose to be. Someone can be perfectly comfortable with their size but still want to lose weight... I don't see the issue.
ReplyDeleteI think you're very brave, especially to show that you can be interested in fashion and clothes at any size. I really admire it.
Plus I jsut realized now you're from Winnipeg! That's so crazy hahaah
Don't apologize for any of your opinions. It is your opinion and it is not hateful. I understand that fat phobia and all our internalized body insecurities are also cultural. We all have our periods of insecurity. People think it's simply just because people are hateful of fat people that they have fat phobia (whether internalized or not). But it's cultural. It's environmental, and it's inevitable, as you said.
ReplyDeleteBut people can educate themselves and I really appreciate your POV and that you read my blog. <3Even though body image is something our society struggles with, it still doesn't make it correct to police other people. This is what FA is about too, gathering like-minded people to fight the oppression against fat people and to accept (your own) fatness and other peoples fatness.
This is why I think it's wrong... It seems like if you have a different opinion on the matter, you are a BAD activist. People deal with things differently. We don't have to adapt to some status quo on over how we should present ourselves or be activists. I mean, isn't the underlying notion of the FA movement to accept ourselves and other fat bodies? I am upset because when it comes to skinny bodies, people act so hypocritical. It isn't okay, whether or not skinny people have privilege... what makes it okay to bash people who are privileged? Do you understand?
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteExactly.
ReplyDeleteThanks Andrew!
ReplyDeleteOmg. You're from Winnipeg, LOL crazy. Do you go to UW?
Here here! I agree with you completely. It has always seemed so odd to me that so much judgment flies around the Body Acceptance movement and it's sickening. We're all supposed to be in this together, thin, fat, whatever. If all bodies are supposed to be good bodies then why are people spending so much time tearing each other down. I'm really glad you posted this, because at times it gets completely ridiculous and it's nice to hear some reason!
ReplyDelete♡ Brooke
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! ug! This is my biggest beef with FA. I mean I'm all for empowerment and acceptance, but it is soooo hypocritical to look down on someone just because of there body shape, I mean isn't that what FA is supposed to point out? I totally believe in health at ever size, but honestly so people don't like being fat, and it's their body and they have the right to do whatever the hell they want to it, so how is loosing weight even a betrayal. Acceptance doesn't mean give up, it means making the best of what you have, and maybe someone has decided to loose weight, but that doesn't mean they are in denial or even un-accepting of themselves. Like you said, you never know what the reasons are. Personally I've lost 13 pounds since I came to school. I haven't changed my eating habits a bit (though honestly I don't eat terribly), but I walk everywhere, about 4 miles a day. And y'know what? I do feel better, about life and myself in general! Because endorphins are good for you. This seriously bothers me about the FA movement and in the reason why I just can't commit to it. Judging anyone for the way they look is just wrong. So Thank you for addressing it!
ReplyDeleteThis is the best thing I've read in a long time. I absolutely agree. Ironically I was thinking the exact same thing today while I was working out. I am a plus size girl, I have been my whole life and I love being a plus size <3 . I also have pcos, that really messes with my body :( so I've decided to try a 'healthier' lifestyle so I can get it under control. I hate how judgmental and close minded people can be. Thank you for putting this out there. & I love your blog! x
ReplyDeleteI agree. It frustrates me when I hear chubbier girls make fun of skinny chicks - how is that fair in any way? Just because they are thin doesn't mean they don't have their insecurities too. And vice versa.
ReplyDeleteI think girls just like to bring other girls down, and it's horrible. It needs to change! SIDEWALKCATWALKS.com
Hello! Quite late reply to your topic but I was just catching up on your blog.. yeah.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you voiced this out. In my country a lot of girls are skinny, naturally and while I am not um big I am bigger than those girls, yet I don't feel like a FA ally because I want to lose weight (although health really is an issue here, I've had problems with it before because of my body) but I feel like if I voice this in a random FA blog I will get attacked for not "accepting my body" and you know accepting the body can be different for people. And for me it's the way of routine exercise and "healthier" eating.
I don't get it why this must mean that I want everybody to do the same. No, I love, love, love it when I see people loving their bodies no matter what and not giving a s*** but most of these people should understand that other people have other lives and different stories and history that may cause them to do what they are doing.
Well this turned a lot ranty, sorry about that!
-Ina :)
I'm on anon because I don't have a blog and I don't understan how to comment without one xD
ReplyDeleteI believe that everyone deserves respect, especially over their bodies, some of us can't help the way we turned out. And if you want to change your body (in a healty way) being gaining more or loosing some weight, I say it's alright, as long if it is what you want.
I must confess, I'm not fat, my legs are like drinking straws and my arms are like noodles, but my stomach isn't flat, you could say I'm a curvy girl, and I really like it, then people find out I'm constatly watching what I eat and they tell me I don't need to, that my body is perfectly fine and so and so... But I want to be thinner, is that so wrong? I struggle just like any other girl to accept my body and I don't feel comfortable in it sometimes. I'm just rambling now.
But really, I believe that if you want to loose weight, or gain it, or keep your body the way it is, it's fine; the point is to be comfortable in your own skin, being size 2, my size 7, 14 or 20 or whatever your size is.